Posted in Today's feel'swings'

Mirth and maturity

” I counted my years and discovered that I have
less time to live going forward than I have lived until now.

I have more past than future.
I feel like the boy who received a bowl of candies.
The first ones, he ate ungracious,
but when he realized there were only a few left,
he began to taste them deeply.

I do not have time to deal with mediocrity.
I do not want to be in meetings where parade inflamed egos.

I am bothered by the envious, who seek to discredit
the most able, to usurp their places,
coveting their seats, talent, achievements and luck.

I do not have time for endless conversations,
useless to discuss about the lives of others
who are not part of mine.

I do not have time to manage sensitivities of people
who despite their chronological age, are immature.

I cannot stand the result that generates
from those struggling for power.

People do not discuss content, only the labels.
My time has become scarce to discuss labels,
I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry…
Not many candies in the bowl…

I want to live close to human people,
very human, who laugh of their own stumbles,
and away from those turned smug and overconfident
with their triumphs,
away from those filled with self-importance,
Who does not run away from their responsibilities ..
Who defends human dignity.
And who only want to walk on the side of truth
and honesty.
The essential is what makes
life worthwhile.

I want to surround myself with people,
who knows how to touch the hearts of people ….
People to whom the hard knocks of life,
taught them to grow with softness in their soul.

Yes …. I am in a hurry … to live with intensity,
that only maturity can bring.
I intend not to waste any part of the goodies
I have left …
I’m sure they will be more exquisite,
that most of which so far I’ve eaten.

My goal is to arrive to the end satisfied and in peace
with my loved ones and my conscience.
I hope that your goal is the same,
because either way you will get there too .. ”

by Mário de Andrade

Mario de Andrade is a Brazilian poet. This is his poem – Mirth and maturity.

Posted in Today's feel'swings'

Will you still love me?



‘Will you still love me?‘ by Ravinder Singh is the book I picked up to get into the reading habit once again. It’s on the first rack of the small library I found in this ‘library-extinct mode’ city. 
This is a light read, not so heavy novel (content and size wise). Started typically as a love story between a Punjabi boy and a north-east girl, it shows the contrast in mindsets at various levels. I had read the earlier works of this author, “I too had a love story’,”Can love happen twice?“, they go in the similar line. But two points stood out for me in this book, one is the best portrayal of North-eastern states, specially Meghalaya and the streets of Patiala which fed the traveling soul inside me. And the Second point is of the parallel track on the Road safety issue (One of the many issues we are pertinently careless about). 
Overall, It’s a good try to convey a social message through the rapid change in lead characters lives. Likewise, showing that an accident does not happen spontaneously, but stems out from a series of events until then. 
Lines like, “Happiness is felt more deeply in the face of unhappiness.” and “Some goodbyes require us to express ourselves.” stayed with me.
So it’s fine for single-go reading, without putting much effort on our side. 

See you next time with another peek into the time experience.

Posted in Today's feel'swings'

One long oscillation!

To go or to not go.

To be or not to be.

To breathe or to fake.

To merge into or to let out.

Last week showed me how life constantly throws the complete contrast situations at you and tests the balance you come up with. That’s it, the more you face things, the more you come up with ways to balance. The more the balance, the more the peace.

Of course, some contrasts are actually fun. Like watching first cricket match inside a stadium. But some contrasts leave you to not get illusioned for fun too. Like, missing your sister’s wedding with no possibility. or way out.


Whatever the case, the handmade card I am trying for sister gave me a feeling that it never oscillates that bad to the worst case scenario situation. Everything will eventually come around!

Posted in Today's feel'swings'

Detach and Connect.

Whether it’s a satisfying-happy phase or a clueless, tiring ride, it’s important to find a middle path to refresh and reboot. Refreshing gives the cleanly washed vision of the things that matter than just keep on roller-coastering through happy or sad emotions.


The refresh and reboot point for me today is sipping lemon infused green tea in silence. Detoxing body along with mind detaches you from emotions and helps to focus on the job at hand. So back to the basic philosophy. One thing at a time… savor the life in moments and experiences slowly.
See you, world!

Posted in Telugu, Today's feel'swings'

నా కథ, సొద..2018 లోకి..!

Happy New year…

ఎంత విచిత్రం కదా! కాలానికి కొత్త పాత ఏమీ ఉండదు..మనం కనుక్కున్న patterns రిపీట్ అయిన ప్రతీసారి ఒక సెలబ్రేషన్, పండగగా ఉత్సాహం. బర్త్ డే, డెత్ డే, యానివర్సరీలు, పండగలు, న్యూఇయర్ లు..

అది కూడా మంచిదేలే ..ఎప్పుడైనా బిగినింగ్స్ ఇచ్చిన ఉత్సాహం మరేదీ ఇవ్వదు. అందుకే ఈ రిపిటీషన్స్ అంటే అంత క్రేజ్ ఏమో! తిరిగి తిరిగి మళ్ళీ అవే రోజులు జరుపుకునేది కొత్తగా బ్రతికే అవకాశం మళ్ళీ సున్నా నుంచి మొదలుపెట్టవచ్చని గుర్తు చేసుకుంటూ, తాము ఇంత జీవితాన్ని,ఇంతమందిని సంపాయించుకున్నామని ఒక సెల్ఫ్ ఎస్యూరెన్స్ కావచ్చు. కుటుంబాలు, దగ్గరి వారు కలిసే పండగలు, పార్టీలు ఇంకా అందుకే బ్రతికున్నాయేమో!

కొత్త సంవత్సరం వచ్చి అప్పుడే వారం రోజులైపోయింది. సూర్యుడి చుట్టూ మరో రివల్యూషన్ కి ప్రయాణం. ఎప్పటిలాగా ఈ సారి ఏ రిజల్యూషన్స్ తీసుకోలేదు. పాతవాటిని అన్నిటినీ ఒకసారి  మనస్సులో తిరగేసాను. కొన్ని సాధించాం, కొన్నిటిలో ప్రోగ్రెస్ ఉంటుంది. ఎక్కువ శాతం మళ్ళీ మళ్ళీ అదే చోట దెబ్బ తగిలి ఉంటుంది. ఈ సారి ఆ దెబ్బలు తగిలిన చోట నన్ను నేన్ను ఇంకా ప్రేమించుకుంటూ మరో రివల్యూషన్ లో ముందుకెళ్ళటం ముందుంది.

అఫ్ కోర్స్, జనవరి 1 కి ముందు రోజున ఏవైతే పనులు, ప్రయత్నాలున్నాయో అవి కూడా కొత్త సంవత్సరంలో అలానే నాతోపాటు ప్రయాణించాయి. అండర్ ఎంప్లాయ్మెంట్ ను ఎదుర్కోవటం, ఐడెంటిటిని మరింత అర్థం చేసుకోవటం,దానికి ఏ కొత్త రంగులు అద్దవచ్చో తెలుసుకోవడం, మరింత కష్టపడటం, ఈ సారి హిమాలయాల్లో కొత్త పర్వతాలను చూస్తూ అన్ని సీజన్స్ ను ప్రేమించటం నేర్చుకోవడం, ఫాలోవర్లు, రీడర్లు, హిట్’స్, ఇంగ్లీషు రాతలే ముఖ్యంగా కాకుండా, బ్లాగులో మనసుకి నచ్చింది రాస్తూ, ఎక్స్ ప్రెషన్ నేర్చుకోవడం, ఇన్నాళ్ళూ పరిగెత్తిన, దాక్కున్న,అలసిన మనసుకి నచ్చినవి చేస్తూ మళ్ళీ స్పందించటం తెలియచెప్పటం.. ఇవన్నీ క్రితం ఏడాది కూడా ఉన్నాయి. నేర్చుకున్న విషయం ఏంటంటే ఇవి జీవితాంతం ఉంటాయి. రూపాలు, భావాలు మారవచ్చేమో కానీ ప్రతి ఏడాది ఇవి కూడా మనతో పాటు పరిభ్రమిస్తాయి.

థర్మోడైనమిక్స్ లో ఎంట్రోపి అన్న పదానికి సరైన అర్థం జీవితమే అయి ఉంటుంది. Universe లో జరిగే అన్ని చర్యలు, పనులు శక్తిని ఎంత order లో పెట్టడానికి ప్రయత్నిస్తాయో, Entropy అంత మళ్ళీ disorder చేయటానికి ప్రయత్నిస్తుందని థర్మోడైనమిక్స్ సూత్రం. కాకపోతే ప్రతీ ఏడాది పరిభ్రమణంలో కొత్త సంవత్సరం రోజు తీసుకున్న రిజల్యూషన్స్ చివరికొచ్చేసరికి మనకి ఎంత దూరంగా వెళ్ళిపోతాయో, మనం వాటిని సాధ్యమైనంత ప్రయత్నిస్తూ వెనక్కి తీసుకురావడం,మళ్ళీ వెళ్ళిపోతున్నప్పుడు ఒత్తిడి పడకుండా, మౌనంగా వెనక్కి తీసుకురావడం సైన్స్ కాదు మన జీవితంలో మరో సంవత్సరం కావచ్చు. అదే ఒక రిజల్యూషన్ కావచ్చు.

So into another year..Another set of experiences which are yet same somehow 🙂

ఈ వారంలో ఇంటర్నెట్ ఆపేసి అరగంటలో దాదాపు 3 కిలోమీటర్ల వరకూ నడవటం నేర్చుకున్నాను. శరీరాన్ని అందంగా ఉంచుకోవటం తప్పనిసరి కాకపోయినా ఆనందంగా ఉంచుకోవటం ముఖ్యమని తెలుసుకున్నాను. ప్రపంచంలో జరిగే విశేషాలను gist గా ఎలా assimilate చేసుకోవచ్చో వెతికాను. మళ్ళీ పర్వతాల దగ్గరకి ఒక పదిరోజులపాటు పారిపోవటానికి సరిపడే రెండు పెద్ద ప్రాజెక్టులు ఒప్పుకున్నాను. ఒక ఎన్నారై రైటర్ రాసిన మ్యాజికల్ రియలిజంకి చెందిన ద మిస్ట్రెస్ ఆఫ్ స్పైసెస్ నవల మొదలుపెట్టాను. ఏడురోజులు పెన్సిల్ గీతలలో ఇన్స్ టాగ్రామ్ ను నాకు తెలిసిన రంగుల్లో జర్నల్ లాగా నింపుకొని భద్రపర్చుకోవచ్చని తెలుసుకున్నాను. ఈ రాతలతో పాటు గీతలను ఇక్కడ చూడవచ్చు – The Wayfarer stories

Lesson to be followed this year..
Embrace the glorious mess that you are! -Elizabeth Gilbert
Find your fun…always.

అలా నేను చెప్పాలనుకున్నది వెతికే పింట్ రెస్ట్ ఉపయోగం తెలుసుకున్నాక, ఇంకా కొరుకుడుపడని లెక్కలు, మాస్ కమ్యూనికేషన్ మొదలుపెట్టాను. పోకర్ లో చిప్స్ అన్నీ ఓడిపోయినా స్టేక్స్ పెరిగినప్పుడు రిస్క్ తీసుకోవాలని నేర్చుకున్నాను, 78 వ ఏడులోకి అడుగుపెట్టిన అమ్మమ్మకి కుక్కర్లో వండిన కేకుపై స్ప్రింకిల్స్ చల్లడానికి ఇన్నాళ్ళూ వెళ్ళలేని ఈగో లోపల దాచుకుని విస్తరాకులలో అందరూ ఆనందంగా తిన్న రంగులను కూడా చూడవచ్చని తెలుసుకున్నాను.

మొదటిసారి అన్నాచెల్లెళ్ళలోని స్నేహితులతో కలిసి బర్గర్ తిన్నాను. జీవితంలో ఒకసారి నచ్చనిది లేదా మనకు దూరం అయినది జీవితాంతం అలానే ఉండాలనే నియమం లేదు. మళ్ళీ అది మన ముందుకి వచ్చినపుడు నవ్వుతూ దానితో కూడా స్నేహం చేయవచ్చని నాకు పాఠం చెప్తుంటే విన్నాను.

Haha ఇవన్నీ నిజంగానే కొత్త సంవత్సరం రిజల్యూషన్స్ లో భాగాలు కావు. మనం చూడాలే కానీ ఒక్క వారంలో, ఒక్క రోజులో క్షణాలు బోలెడు !

మీ కొత్త సంవత్సరం వారం తిరిగేసరికి ఎలా గడుస్తోంది? కొత్తగానే ఉందా?


Posted in Today I see(k)..

My tryst with Kashmir

A week-long escape into mountains ended with the silent drive to the airport, through the deserted streets of old vintage city Srinagar. Boarded the plane and into my first travel memories overlooking “Srinagar” board with a sigh. I guess that’s fine, considering the early morning hike to the Sankaracharya hill to get the whole city view and satisfy the ‘ one last time’ urge.

I always wondered if I can be the mountain and beach person at the same time. Thus, my Pan India travel started from the top—Kashmir. Mountains happened this year at last and are mesmerizing for sure.

They say Kashmir enjoys a characteristic color for each season. The color I happened to choose is green. On the whole, Kashmir is witnessing the snow melting into blue streams, which then blossoms into lush green meadows, over a cup of tea. Kashmir is purely an experience.

Dal Lake was a simple tourist interest in my mind until one fresh morning it transformed into a way of life. In the view of Shikara races and locals visiting us from the inside colonies of the lake, the sun rose over the pirpanjal mountains only after 7.30 in the morning. The floating markets and rides coupled with their people tales of both beauty and terror, the sufiness of that famous Sufi land came alive again.

In other parts of India, the name Kashmir resembles a dangerous place. In fact, after crossing the Srinagar and Anantnag, army presence is less, especially in tourist places. The security threat is little over hyped in Kashmir. Although reluctant a while, I could not wait to explore more of the valley.

On the way to Pahalgam, often we would see army vehicles and convoys passing by. We passed through a Kashmiri willow bat factory, Awantipora Ruins – famous for a temple built by King Awanti varman. Pampore Saffron fields and other places like Sangam, Bijbhera etc too lay on the way. I thought of familiarity of some of these names. Wondered why I always associated these places with terrorist attacks, like ‘Pampore attack’. Maybe that’s the only thing I heard about these towns.

As we moved towards the inner parts, I realized the countryside of Kashmir and its people look very beautiful. The journey through small villages, clean water streams was pristine. One or two stops to experience the innovative living of few Kashmiri Pahadi people reminded me of the Swades movie.

Further, saw a few abandoned houses which turned out to belong to the Pandit families who left them in the early 90s. Those empty houses, courtyards and black inked walls reflected the trauma the common people went through. To leave your home and everything behind to save your life, under those circumstances, was terrible. But it was good to know many people who left are gradually returning. By all means, to hear firsthand accounts like these were heartening and reassuring.

Despite I was relatively sure that everything would be safe, I could not let go of the possibility of an attack or sudden disturbance which might compel me to cancel plans. With these thoughts in mind, we have reached the priceless property of our beautiful host in Pahalgam.

Pahalgam looked like it’s stuck between being a tourist attraction and a traveler’s destination. The Lidder valley is one of the most scenic places in Kashmir. The serene Pahalgam town lies upstream on the river. We had covered Aru and Betaab valleys along with Chandanwari glacier. I couldn’t believe such calm and peaceful places have terrorist activities in the first place and some Amarnath yatries were indeed shot dead a few days back.

Valleys and lakes were less crowded devoid of tourists and I enjoyed the calm and soothing water flow from melting glacier in silence. Except for some annoying touts, the experience was awesome. Owing to the friendly driver, our little trip there was fun with Kashmiri songs and corn, walnuts picked up from his farm.

The following long journey days were accompanied by interesting discussions about the both good and evil across religions. The greatest tragedy of the history is that the evil ends up being more powerful. But, even under current goodness still exist all around, especially in need of some strength and reassurance.

Staying in that rural setup for two-three days with impeccable hospitality is relaxing. Apart from a long trek to the Baisaran valley among the other new activities, visiting Ammaji’s house in the inner village was an amazing experience. He walked us through the woods to his home for tea one evening. Kashmiri houses are usually carpeted. People sit on the floor and use the designed cushions to rest their backs on the wall. With everyone sitting at the same level, having a casual conversation over tea ‘Kahwah’ and some dry fruits become so much easier.

After the visit of scenic meadows of Doodhpathri and experiencing mountain farming practices, our last stop was Gulmarg. Gulmarg is a beautiful congruence of breathtaking snow, rain, and the sun all at one go. Made a mental note to visit again in winter when it snows. The solo trip I started ultimately didn’t end like one. I made some amazing new friends and beautiful memories of many post dessert conversations.

Though I am not a shopping person, a little shopping happened in Lalchowk, Srinagar. Everyone worries about the total absence of business this season. Locals are very helpful. Everywhere in the valley, they all were excited to see non- localities. Almost everybody, yes, everybody invited us for a cup of tea.

The unrest in the valley last year had hit the tourism sector hard. While there was a complete shutdown in 2016, this year that was not the case. With minimal tourists, the valley streets looked slight lonely. The locals blamed it on the media, which ceaselessly portray Kashmir as a perpetual war zone.

Every talk in Kashmir ultimately drifts towards the Kashmir issue. Through the many conversations I had there, I realized the massive anger inside everyone towards India. And the mental distance between Kashmir and the rest of India has reached to unimaginable levels. It will be a very tedious task for India to reduce this distance.

Although, it is true that Jammu and Kashmir is a big security and political issue for India. But there is much more to the place. We have completely overlooked the human aspect of Kashmir. Apart from gun-holding, stone pelting image portrayed by media about Kashmiri commoners, the warm, non-judgmental acceptance of people is also a story of Kashmir.  Every student, shawl weaver, Paper Mache artist, Shepherd, farmer, Shikara-wala, laborer, the driver from the valley will have their own personal story, and reasons for the angst, the emptiness inside them. Continue reading “My tryst with Kashmir”